Biological didn’t bother with The Shaq

This past Friday was the Basketball Hall of Fame Class of 2008 induction in Springfield, MA. For some reason, reading about basketball in the news this weekend made me recall some basketball stars who have explored other opportunities career-wise…

Michael Jordan has hawked everything from underpants to sneakers and steaks. And then there’s Magic Johnson, who has his hand in tons of businesses and charities, had a short-lived talk show and had a hand in the deliciously tasty Fatburger franchise. Even Dr. J is selling Dr. Pepper these days. These players have had some level of success in the business world by NOT RAPPING ABOUT THEIR DADS.

Shaquille O’Neal though, had desires to become a rapper. And he rapped about his dad… his REAL dad. Check out this gem, Biological Didn’t Bother.

The Shaq didn’t have a very illustrious rap career. But at least he gave his his best shot (har har har– I kill me!)… His other aspiration was to become an actor, but he never really had any slam dunks with his film career either. Sorry– that joke was a little out-of-bounds. It’s too bad, because many would argue that there are some fine fine moments in Kazaam, still it was Academy-overlooked.

Bastards.

Here are the lyrics:

Yo, Yo
I want to dedicated this song to Philip Arthur Harrison
Word up
cause he was the one who took me from a boy to a man
So as far as I’m concerned, he’s my father cause my biological didn’t bother

[Verse 1]
Biological father, left me in the cold, when a few months old
Aa father’s child was greater than gold but I guess not
You brought me into the world but your not my dad
Mess around with those drugs makes my moms mad
So we left you with no remorsal pity
Took the first bus from York to Jersey City
Women and child alone now thats pressure
Moms got to go to work, drop me off by Obesa
Momma, Aunt DeDe, whoever
Aunt Falma, Uncle Roy we stuck together
A year went by and I could walk y’all
Moms got that good ol job at city hall
She probably didn’t trust men anymore
Until Philip Harrison walk though the door
Went out a few times but what about Shaquille
Moms offered him a million dollar package deal
She said you want me you gotta take my son
or else its like a hot dog but without the bun
Guess what he accepted, responsibility he never left it
He kept it, he kept it
He took me from a boy to a man so Phil is my father
cause my biological didn’t bother

[chorus] He took me from a boy to a man so Phil is my father
cause my biological didn’t bother. [x4]

[Verse 2]
January 5th Phil made a promise (what’s that)
He joined the army we moved to fort mamth
He disciplined me right from the get go
Age 2 bottle and my Mom shaquille let go
Actin spoiled, rotten, trippin
Got a butt whippin because I didn’t listen
Back then you see privates made no bucks
Had to get another job driven trucks
Workin hard as hell didn’t satisfy him
Had to another job working at the gym
He wasn’t “Gone with the Wind” like Clark Gable
Work all them jobs to put food on the table
Phil’s my father, daddy and thats the scoop
Can I go to the gym with you and shoot some hoops
Come on he put me under his wing
Was the ball boy for his little Arthur team
Sometimes he even made me mad
But it didn’t matter cause I still wanted to be like dad
but a little bit better
Encouraged me to stay in school and to get then good letters
I wasn’t a brainiac but I tried hard
Got to watch the Knicks play if I had a good report card
All types, all sorts
Disobeyed my dad and I couldn’t play sports
I learned to dribble from right to left
I couldn’t do a damn thang with all them F’s
Age 15 father and son confrontation that’s nothin
but father and son trials and tribulation
Back then I could under stand but I’m glad you did it
cause now I’m a man
He took me from a boy to a man so Phil is my father
cause my biological didn’t bother

[chorus]

[Verse 3]
Look at me now successful for sure
Phil raised me well, to be an entrepeneur
and if your making big dope be materialistic
cause you’ll end up another statistic
everything’s going well following my dreams
I dunked on Patrick Ewing
I won the ring like hakeem
Uh oh what do you know
Biological ones on the Ricky Lake show
What does he want, does he want money
What people do for money!!!
It’s kinda funny to me
He aint gettin no check from me (check it)
He can go on all the talk shows he want
Phil is my dad so dont even front
He took me from a boy to a man so Phil is my father
cause my biological didn’t bother

[Chorus]

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