The Jennifer Lopez classic Love Don’t Cost a Thing was on Mix 93.1 earlier today while I was working, and it reminded me of when the song first came out. I’ve always thought she says, “think I work at CVS, I don’t” at one point. I know those aren’t the actual lyrics, though.   In fact, I don’t think I know what the actual lyrics are. After a quick google search, I’ve determine they must be, “think you gotta keep me iced, you don’t”.

Regardless, it’s a stupid song. As if J-Lo would work at a Consumer Value Store. And did anyone see her performances on SNL recently? What was THAT all about?

South Park’s 13th season opened with an episode called “I See Dead Celebrities” in which Patrick Swayze, Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Walter Cronkite, DJ AM, David Carradine, Bea Arthur, and others appear in Purgatory. It was the Summer of Death after all.

Of particular note, however, was Cartman’s appreciation for advertising hero Billy Mays who is shown here hawking a product called Chipoltaway, which removes blood stains from one’s underwear after eating Chipotle.

"When change comes around, men swim in me!"

John Mellencamp (John Cougar? John Cougar Mellencamp?) is a mainstay on mix 93.1, which I listen to daily in my office. Jack and Diane is one of his more popular hits, and I hear it at least a couple times a week. One of the lines from the song is, “change comes around real soon, makes us women and men”, but if I’m not paying attention, it sounds like he says, “makes us swimmin’ in men”. I know those aren’t the real lyrics, but if you listen, it really sounds like that’s what he’s saying. Listen for yourself! (As an aside, how oss are the handclaps at the beginning?):

Two misheard lyrics in one song! Last Sunday, we took Quinn to Southwick’s Zoo in Mendon, MA. On the way home, we were listening to the same mix CD that contains the iCarly and Drake & Josh theme songs that I made for our Lancaster, PA trip last October. Quinn is actually starting to enjoy some of the other songs on it now, and will request that we skip to a specific track. So part of the way home, we heard a request from the back seat, “Can you play the ‘great night’ song?” My wife and I looked at each other, confused. There were no songs we could think of with the lyrics “great night”, and Quinn couldn’t sing it for us. So we skipped through all the songs so she could tell us what she wanted, and just as we got to Grade 9 by the Barenaked Ladies, we realized what she meant. Apparently, she thought they were saying “great night baby”. We tried to explain that it was “grade 9″, but to no avail.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you...Butt Queen!

So for the last week, Quinn has been making us listen to that track incessantly. On Saturday, she kept giggling at the line where Ed Robertson sings, “they called me Eddie”. I asked her why she thought it was funny, and she said because his real name is Freddy. I asked her why she thought that, and she said because she looked it up on the internet. Four year olds say the darndest things. Then yesterday, all three of us were in the car, listening to it yet again, and I was telling my wife how she likes the “they called me Eddie” line, and then Quinn started saying something about how “they called him butt queen for some reason”. It took us awhile to realize what she was saying (“butt cream?” “butt freak?”), and couldn’t understand where “butt queen” came from. Until we were listening to the song again, and got to the line where Tyler Stewart sings “they called me Buckwheat!”. Apparently Quinn thought he was saying “butt queen”.

I fear now that Quinn is listening to more music, the misheard lyrics will increase at an exponential rate.

Back in high school, I worked part time at Stop and Shop. I worked there in the summers through college, as well. I’ve made a couple friends along the way as a result, and worked with quite a variety of people there over the years. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the name of the woman who is the origin of this story, but we’ll call her Barbara, because that might be right. But probably not. Anyway, we were talking about music or whatever, and for some reason we started talking about Lay Down Sally by Eric Clapton. Perhaps it was playing in the store at the time. Anyway, she told me how her young daughter thought the lyrics were “way down cellar”, and I thought this was funny, because it kind of sounds like that’s what he’s saying.

"Help! It's cold down here, and I'm lonely..."

It's all Carrot Top's fault

While playing Guitar Hero on X-Box at a friend’s this weekend, Spiderwebs by No Doubt came up in the game. I remembered when this song came out over 10 years ago. Our friend Kevin used to think the lyrics in the chorus were “it’s all your fault I scream my balls off”, but they’re really “it’s all your fault I screen my phone calls”. But if you listen to it and listen for his misheard lyrics, it does sound like Gwen Stefani says that. Even though it makes no sense in the context of the song.

Here at Songspeak, we love the Foo Fighters. I don’t remember if this particular misheard lyric was due to me, Matt, or just something we heard somewhere else, but it’s a misheard lyric nonetheless.

It’s from their song Learn to Fly. It sounds like Dave Grohl sings, “I’m looking to the sky to save me, looking for a satellite”, but “satellite” is really “sign of life”.

Really, this post is just an excuse to post the video for the song. We’ve talked about Foo Fighters’ hilarious videos before (most notably for Big Me), but this one takes the proverbial cake. The bands plays multiple characters throughout the video, and the only thing I remember about seeing it for the first time was Matt showing it to me on the computer and giggling the most squealish giggle I’ve ever heard come out of him when fat lady Dave Grohl pictures the guy’s head as a hamburger and licks his teeth.

Superman often likes to take advantage of situations

This goes back to when Matt and I shared an office. And yes, I know there are a lot of these stories, but it was a good opportunity for songspeaks, so you can all suck it.

Five for Fighting’s song Superman (It’s Not Easy) had just been released, and there wasn’t a day that went by that we didn’t hear it at least once or twice. And on a tangential note, isn’t it weird that Five for Fighting is just one guy? Yeah, his name is John Ondrasik. What a weirdo.

Anyway, at one point late in the song, he sings the line, “inside of me”, but Matt and I think it sounds like he’s singing, “In sodomy”. We both had AIM on our computers, so we always had a contest to see who could message “sodomy” to the other the quickest when the line was sang. The rule was that you couldn’t send it before he sang it, so it was always a mad dash to get it typed and hit enter as the words escaped his mouth.

Ah, good times. Dyno-miiiiiiiiiiite.

Here’s the video. John starts singing about sodomy at the 2:28 mark.

I already told you all about one of my biggest misheard lyrics from my youth, but Matt hasn’t shared his yet, so I thought I’d go ahead and do it for him.

These guys don't look so tough.

It comes from Living Colour and their big hit Cult of Personality. I still hear it on the radio all the time, and I remember Matt telling me that when he was younger, he thought Corey Glover was singing “tough tough personality” instead of “cult of personality”. I guess I can see how that would make sense, except at the end when he would be shouting, “I am a tough tough! I am a tough tough!”

Does it really sound like that? Watch the video and judge for yourself…

Matt’s a big Radiohead fan, and I remember both of us really liking OK Computer when it came out. We even went to see them in concert at the Worcester Centrum. Paranoid Android got me hooked on the album, and then Karma Police caught on as well. Matt and I would listen to that CD all the time, and at one point, I was singing along, and I sang, “For a minute there, I’ll ask myself”. Well, we both tend to correct each other if we hear the other one singing incorrect lyrics, and this was no exception. Matt alerted me to the fact that Thom Yorke actually sings, “For a minute there, I lost myself”. Which makes much more sense.

Songspeak bonus story: While a bunch of us were hanging out at Matt’s once, we had this CD playing. Our friend Joe, who we haven’t seen or talked to in quite some time, arrived to hang out as well, and Karma Police was playing. And he just uttered, “This is what I get, I guess”. It was this comment that caused us to include Karma Police on the inaugural songspeak mixtape, Songspeak’s Greatest Hits Volume 1.

The song has one strange video. Thom Yorke sure is a weird lookin’ dude.