I thought I was safe. You know, watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on NBC while we’re getting ready for the day. Waiting for Matt Lauer, Al Roker, or Meredith Vieira to tell me what float, performer, or balloon was passing by at any given moment.

Then a float came by for some new show on the Cartoon Network called Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. I wish I’d heard Matt Lauer’s warning that there would be a musical surprise when I initially watched it, maybe then I could have braced myself for something. But alas, I was vulnerable.

So these puppets start singing some cutesy song. Fair enough. What happened next made me feel violated beyond anything I could have ever imagined. In the middle of their song, a record scratch is heard, and then, well…see for yourself:

I was in my own home. It was Thanksgiving. I thought I was safe. How wrong I was. Rick Astley and those bastards at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade pulled one over on me. They pulled one over on all of us. I wonder now whether I should even watch TV or leave the house anymore.

The only saving graces were Rick Astley’s expression when he sings, “Never gonna run around and desert you!”, the fact that those kids dancing on the float were born well after that song was released and probably have no idea who Rick Astley is, and the fact that probably 80% of the people at the parade had absolutely no clue what was going on.

The kicker was the announcer at the end talking about how that was “Rick Astley singing the rickrolling phenom”. He may as well have said, “That was Rick Astley. And I’m such a square.”

So just be careful. You never know when it’s going to happen. If it can happen to Vince McMahon, it can happen to anyone.

As for me, I’ll be thankful when that God-awful fad goes away for good.

jamie wrote this on 12/04/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | 1 comment so far | TAGS: 80s music, al roker, cartoon network, foster's home for imaginary friends, macy's thanksgiving day parade, matt lauer, meredith vieira, nbc, never gonna give you up, puppets, rick astley, rick roll, rickroll, thanksgiving, vince mcmahon

Anyway, one of Matt’s customers was named Sheena Glover, who at the time worked for Georgia Southern University. I remember when he first got off the phone with her, he started singing, “She’s a Sheena Glover…” to the tune of Easy Lover by Phil Collins and Philip Bailey. Whenever he talked to her, he’d sing this afterwards.

We still sing it, to this day. Even though we haven’t heard from Sheena Glover in years, she’s still in our hearts.

jamie wrote this on 12/03/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | no comments yet, be the first! | TAGS: 80s music, chinese wall, danny glover, easy lover, funny names, georgia southern university, odd names, phil collins, philip bailey, she's an easy lover, sheena easton, sheena glover, silver screen design

“Move Along to these guys”? Really, that’s all ya got Today Show? Two previous albums worth of lyrics, and that’s the best you can come up with? Not to mention they picked one of the most ridiculous still images of lead singer Tyson Ritter they could find. And what’s up with the usage of “these guys”? Is John McCain working for the Today Show website now?

If Songspeak gave out booby prizes for worst songspeaks, today Today would be at the top of the list. I mean, honestly.

Anyhow, for those interested, here are the All-American Rejects performing their new single:

jamie wrote this on 11/25/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | no comments yet, be the first! | TAGS: 00s music, 00s tv, all-american rejects, booby prize, concert series, john mccain, move along, performance, today show, tyson ritter, when the world comes down, worst songspeaks

But seriously folks– who even HAS analog TV anymore? People who aren’t going to be able to figure out how to hook up a digital converter box, that’s who.

Thanks Jeff at LinkFarm for cracking an egg of knowledge about this video.

Oh, and speaking of a sign o’ the times… Back in 1999, my mom got t-shirts with big letters that said Y2KOK! for her office. Her and her co-workers were stuck working at their office on New Year’s Eve because of the Y2K hullabaloo. I was reminded of this recently because Jamie found the films for the job at the t-shirt silkscreen place he works for where the shirts were printed.

But also, I was thinking about Y2K recently because Kristen and I just finished watching Sports Night, which had an episode devoted to Y2K. Oh dated humor, you kill me.

And in case you were wondering, I’m happy to report that I’m confident everything will be Y2.009KOK here at Songspeak.

matt wrote this on 11/19/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | no comments yet, be the first! | TAGS: alf, analog, converter box, digital, february, new years eve, old lady video, prince, silver screen design, songspeak national headquarters office tower, sports night, television, y2k, year 2000

Highlights include him “bringin’ turkey back”, Turkeyville, the Barry Gibb talk show, and his Michael McDonald impression.

If only every episode of Saturday Night Live could be as amusing as JT’s consolidated performance…

jamie wrote this on 11/19/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | 2 comments | TAGS: 00s tv, barry gibb, justin timberlake, michael mcdonald, saturday night live, sexy back, snl, thanksgiving, the barry gibb talk show, turkeyville, weekend update

I wasn’t playing this hand, but was just observing along with everyone else at the table. It was a guy and girl in in the pot together (I’ll withhold the names to protect the innocent), and the flop was J 8 8, I believe. They both checked. The turn was an A, the girl made a substantial bet, and the guy called. The river was another J, the guy bet big, and after thinking for a minute, she finally felt like she had to call. After she called, but before they showed their cards, I was singing The Jack by AC/DC at the end of the table, “He’s got the jack…he’s got the jack”. The woman sitting next to me commented that she loves that song. The guy indeed showed a jack for a full house, beating the girl’s 2 pair, aces over 8’s (this isn’t the blog or place to analyze how horrible his move of calling her turn bet was when it was obvious she had an ace or 8 and he was only drawing to 2 outs, but I digress…)

The Jack is one of my favorite Bon Scott-era AC/DC songs. It’s basically a song about an STD, but uses playing cards and poker as a clever metaphor. Lyrically, one of AC/DC’s better efforts. At least, the studio version. The live version now performed by Brian Johnson has alternate lyrics and is more of a straightforward to-the-point description of said disease.

*Disclaimer - The point of this story is that guy had a jack playing card in his hand. I have no idea if he has the disease “the jack” or not.

jamie wrote this on 11/17/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | 5 comments | TAGS: 70s music, ac/dc, bon scott, brian johnson, full house, he's got the jack, no limit texas hold 'em, playing cards, poker, poker night, sexually transmitted disease, STD, the clap, the jack, two pair

He left a note for his fans. Not sure why “Realy” is in quotes. Does this mean he doesn’t actually really miss and/or love them all?

Perhaps this should be submitted to The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks.

songspeak wrote this on 11/14/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | no comments yet, be the first! | TAGS: bankruptcy, deed, fans, foreclosure, jack-o, jacko, michael jackson, neverland ranch, note, really, realy, sycamore valley ranch

Those three dudes are hilarious!

matt wrote this on 11/13/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | no comments yet, be the first! | TAGS: a capella, jack black, kids choice awards 2006, king kong, nickleodeon, singing with himself, three

As if on cue, a young woman in a white Toyota Corolla pulled up rather quickly, blocking the driveway. She seemed to be in a bit of a hurry. She got out of the car and I think the only word she really said was “dresser”. She had a 5 dollar bill in her hand. SOLD! She opened the trunk and side doors to her rather small car. Her car had a lot of junk in it, and she wasn’t making much effort to move things out of the way. It was slightly awkward. Kristen and I put all the drawers in the back seat. The dresser was slightly wedged in the trunk and hung out the back while the trunk lid was completely open.

I offered to go get rope but I’m not sure if she heard or understood me. Once the dresser was in the trunk she got in the driver’s seat and prepared to drive away. As Kristen and I were walking back to the garage, I turned around and witnessed the woman put her car in reverse and accelerate quickly into the telephone pole next to my driveway. This not only dented her bumper, but because the dresser was hanging out the back, it broke it even further, and wedged it even further into the trunk. It also dented her trunk lid I believe. Anyway, even though she obviously did damage to her car, she drove away as if nothing had happened.

Why is this songspeak-related you ask? Because this entire ridiculous experience was made more ridiculous by the fact that she was ABSOLUTELY BLARING Nothing Better To Do by Leann Rimes the whole time on her car stereo.

Ever since, whenever we actually have nothing better to do, Kristen and I will start singing “nuthin’ better to do got nuthin’ better to do”.

The dresser wound up costing the woman a lot more that 5 dollars, that’s for sure.

matt wrote this on 11/13/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | no comments yet, be the first! | TAGS: 00s music, corolla, country, crash, easthampton, garage sale, holyoke, leann rimes, nothing better to do, nuthin better to do, tag sale, telephone pole, toyota, used dresser

From abcnews.com:

Paula Goodspeed, 30, was found dead, an apparent suicide, Tuesday evening in her car, which was parked a few doors down from Abdul’s Los Angeles home. Reuters reported that prescription pills, along with CDs and pictures of Abdul, were found in the car.

“It appears to be a suicide by overdose,” Detective Robert Bub of the Los Angeles Police Department told Reuters.

Now, I must say, I usually feel like offing myself after watching any new episodes of American Idol, so she can hardly be blamed. And if it was an overdose of prescription drugs, it just sounds to me like she was imitating her idol, who is constantly effed up beyond coherence on some kind of pills and/or alcohol. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Here is Paula Goodspeed’s audition from the show:

In all seriousness, is anyone surprised? Many of the people who audition on American Idol aren’t exactly what I would call “stable”. And when you get ridiculed in front of (and by) the person you look up to the most, it’s enough to push a lot of these people over the edge. Just chalk this up as another reason I hate American Idol.

And joking aside, the friends and family of Paula Goodspeed have lost someone they love and care about. I wouldn’t wish what they’re going through on anyone. Our thoughts go out to them.

jamie wrote this on 11/13/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | 1 comment so far | TAGS: 00s tv, american idol, los angeles, overdose, paula abdul, paula goodspeed, paula goodspeed commits suicide, prescription drugs, stalker, unhealthy obsession

This incident is a second stroke of unfortunate happenstances that have occurred on Death Cab For Cutie’s Fall Tour so far.

From bassist Nick Harmer’s blog, Colony Collapse:

So tonight in San Diego, Ben got stung by a SCORPION. Twice. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried, file this under “things that really happen on rock tours.” Ben’s okay, if not a little shaken, but we were worried for awhile because the scorpion was a little guy and when it comes to the wonderful world of scorpions, the smaller the deadlier. Here’s how it went down: As were were getting ready to go onstage to play our set, Ben changed into his show pants that were hanging in our wardrobe case. He put his pants on, and felt something stick him twice in his thigh and when he pulled them off, this guy came running out

We all screamed. A scorpion was honestly the last thing we could imagine that would come scurrying out of his pants. Ben said that it felt like a wasp stung him and it didn’t hurt so bad, but it sure rattled all of us. We called the EMTs and they checked him out and thankfully he was fine and able to play the show, he said he had scorpion power in his veins. I’m still not convinced that he is 100% fine because nobody eliminated the possibility that it was a radioactive scorpion and that Ben will now develop super powers, so I’m keeping a close eye on him just in case.

matt wrote this on 11/06/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | 1 comment so far | TAGS: bassist, ben gibbard, benjamin gibbard, bite, bitten, death cab for cutie, fall tour, nick harmer, rock you like a hurricane, scorpion, sting, stung, The Scorpions

Having only one wing makes it exeedingly difficult to fly

I didn’t really become familiar with Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks until I started working at Silver Screen Design, because I simply hadn’t heard it that much in my youth. And whenever I did hear it on the radio (which happened quite often), I always thought she was singing, “Just like the one-winged dove”, and I thought, “That’s weird, I guess”.

Then one day it clicked. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it before, being the avid bird nerd that I am. She was singing “WHITE-winged dove” (followed by a stellar bird call of “whoo whoo whoo”).

But apparently, I’m not the only one who heard that particular line wrong. A daughter of a co-worker of mine thought it was the same thing, among others.

Edge of Seventeen? More like Edge of Articulation, Stevie.

jamie wrote this on 11/04/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | no comments yet, be the first! | TAGS: 80s music, bird nerd, edge of seventeen, one winged dove, stevie nicks, white winged dove

They were on a road trip from Scranton, PA to Nashua, NH, and it’s one of those songs that you can’t resist singing along to when it comes on the car radio during a long road trip.

I remember when the song came out when I was in high school, and how catchy it was then. It still gets airplay almost daily to this very day.

And now, the vocal stylings of Michael Scott, Holly, and Darryl:

songspeak wrote this on 11/03/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | no comments yet, be the first! | TAGS: 00s tv, 90s music, darryl philbin, employee transfer, holly flax, life is a highway, michael scott, nashua, nbc, new hampshire, pennsylvania, road trip, scranton, singing along to the car radio, the office, tom cochrane

One of the favorites around our household, and still referenced if we see a commercial featuring a product or service with an overly complicated web address, is the following:

Either Jo or I will undoubtedly mention clownpenis.fart when we see an ad with a ridiculous website. And it cracks us up every time.

jamie wrote this on 11/03/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | no comments yet, be the first! | TAGS: 00s tv, clownpenis.fart, commercial parodies, complicated websites, dillon/edwards, dillon/edwards investments, ridiculous websites, saturday night live, snl

matt wrote this on 11/03/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | no comments yet, be the first! | TAGS: endorse, fast-paced world, ham you can eat in the bathroom, john ham, jon hamm, let's face it, mad men, product, saturday night live, snl