This songspeak took place a couple weeks ago on one of my poker nights. I’m not going to explain the game of no limit texas hold ‘em here, but for those familiar with the game, the story will make sense.
I wasn’t playing this hand, but was just observing along with everyone else at the table. It was a guy and girl in in the pot together (I’ll withhold the names to protect the innocent), and the flop was J 8 8, I believe. They both checked. The turn was an A, the girl made a substantial bet, and the guy called. The river was another J, the guy bet big, and after thinking for a minute, she finally felt like she had to call. After she called, but before they showed their cards, I was singing The Jack by AC/DC at the end of the table, “He’s got the jack…he’s got the jack”. The woman sitting next to me commented that she loves that song. The guy indeed showed a jack for a full house, beating the girl’s 2 pair, aces over 8’s (this isn’t the blog or place to analyze how horrible his move of calling her turn bet was when it was obvious she had an ace or 8 and he was only drawing to 2 outs, but I digress…)
The Jack is one of my favorite Bon Scott-era AC/DC songs. It’s basically a song about an STD, but uses playing cards and poker as a clever metaphor. Lyrically, one of AC/DC’s better efforts. At least, the studio version. The live version now performed by Brian Johnson has alternate lyrics and is more of a straightforward to-the-point description of said disease.
*Disclaimer - The point of this story is that guy had a jack playing card in his hand. I have no idea if he has the disease “the jack” or not.
Tags: 70s music, ac/dc, bon scott, brian johnson, full house, he's got the jack, no limit texas hold 'em, playing cards, poker, poker night, sexually transmitted disease, STD, the clap, the jack, two pair
Here are the lyrics for the studio version of The Jack:
She gave me the Queen
She gave me the King
She was wheelin’ and dealin’
Just doin’ her thing
She was holdin’ a pair
But I had to try
Her Deuce was wild
But my Ace was high
But how was I to know
That she’d been dealt with before
Said she’d never had a Full House
But I should have known
From the tattoo on her left leg
And the garter on her right
She’d have the card to bring me down
If she played it right
She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack
She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack
She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack
She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack
She’s got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She’s got the jack
Poker face was her name
Poker face was her nature
Poker straight was her game
If she knew she could get you
She played ‘em fast
And she played ‘em hard
She could close her eyes
And feel every card
But how was I to know
That she’d been shuffled before
Said she’d never had a Royal Flush
But I should have known
That all the cards were comin’
From the bottom of the pack
And if I’d known what she was dealin’ out
I’d have dealt it back
She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack
She’s got the jack, and who knows what else?
She’s got the jack, yeah, yeah
She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack
She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack
She’s got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She’s got the jack
She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack,
Ooh, It was a bad deal, (Jack)
She gave me the (Jack), hey
She’s got the (Jack), she’s got the (Jack)
She’s got the (Jack), ooh can’t you tell
She’s got the (Jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack)
(She’s got the jack, she’s got the Jack)
She’s got the jack, she’s got the Jack
She’s got the jack, you never know!
She’s got the jack, she’s got the jack
She’s got the jack
She’s got the jack, and it hurts!
(She’s got the jack)
She’s got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She’s got the jack
Aaaaaah!
Oooooh!
(Thank you, thank you, thank you people, thank you, thank you, I’m glad you like the show, yes, thank you very much folks. Goodnight and God bless!)
And the live version:
Here’s a song of the record High Voltage
This one is a song about the clap
Now we call it `She’s got the Jack’
We’d like to give this one to you
Psssst
Gonorrhea, oh no, I just had my first dose
Of gonorrhea
She gave me her mind
Then she gave me her body
But it seems to me
That she gave it to anybody
But I made her cry
And I made her scream (scream for me)
[Audience screams]
I took her high
And I curdled her cream
But how was I to know that she had been there before
She told me she was a virgin
She was number nine, ninety-nine on the clinical list
And I fell in love with the dirty little bitch
She’s got the Jack
(I hate to tell you this darling)
I searched her mind
And then I searched her body
…But so did everybody
But she gave me her heart
And she gave me her soul
And a great, big - warn out
Empty hole
But how was I to know it had been filled in before
She said, “Bon, I’ve never had the urgency”
She was number nine, ninety-nine on the critical list
And I fell in love with the dirty little bitch
She’s got the Jack
(I’ll kill her)
(Oh and it hurts)
You know, I woke up one morning, and there it was on the sheets -the clap
Now I know you all call it the clap over here so what I’m gonnado
I’m gonna say “She’s got the –”, and I want you all to shoutout
Just what it is she’s got, in this case it’s the clap
And if you wanna know who gave it to her, don’t look at me
She’s got the …
(I wanna hear your voices)
She’s got the … clap
She’s got the … clap
She’s got the … clap
(That guy down there, whatta you doing?)
She’s got the … clap
(Yeah, you show me)
She’s got the … clap
She’s got the … clap
(She got that too, ha?)
She’s got the … clap
(I think what she needs … is an Angus Young penicilian)
Angus Young
Alright
She’s got the Jack
Oh yes she has
The Jack may be bad, but remember Jamie, The Clap has taken many lives (distant fires in the skies).
@matt - And if you ever get it, you’d better run like hell (apologies to Pink Floyd).
I wonder how much this song inspired the writers of George R.R. Martin’s shared sci-fi world of ‘Wild Cards’. A quick web search didn’t find much besides this quote:
“To say Croyd’s a little difficult to categorise is like saying AC/DC gigs are a little noisy”
The main conceit of the setting involves a ‘Wild Card’ disease that either kills you (’Drawing the Black Queen’), Gives you Super Powers (’Drawing an Ace’), Gives you Crappy Superpowers (’Drawing a Duece’) or turns you into a monster (’Drawing a Joker’).