My fellow blogger Matt Larsen had a New Year’s Eve shindig in his domicile last week. Food was eaten, games were played, and a fantastic time was had by all. Lots of music was listened to…some good, some bad. An impromptu dance party broke out. It was your standard NYE shenanigans. For some reason, an inordinate amount of Michael Jackson was played. I’m not sure why so many people like to glorify a pedophile, but I digress. When Beat It was playing, Matt pointed out that he used to think the lyrics were “No one wants to beat it beat it” when, in fact, MJ sings, “No one wants to be defeated”. This caused me to think of other lyrics you could put in its place, and for some reason the first thing I thought of was “no one wants to eat a fetus”. I think we can all agree that there was no reason to think of any more, as there is clearly nothing that could be better.