|
SONGSPEAKyou've been struck by a smooth criminal |
| { | } | { | } |
Archives!
TAG: monday night raw
-
songspeak
You other sponges don’t want none unless you rock square buns
So last night I was watching Monday Night Raw, as usual. And then a commercial came on for Burger King that had my wife Jo in hysterics. It was for the new 99 cent kid’s meals with Spongebob Squarepants toys, and it utilizes an alternate version of Sir Mix-a-lot’s Baby Got Back. Sir Mix-a-lot even appears in the ad.I don’t know what’s more disturbing, watching the Burger King dance around to the song, or the fact that they’re using Baby Got Back to sell kid’s meals. And really, is it wise to use a song that glorifies fat asses to advertise a fast food restaurant that gives people…well…fat asses?
That aside, I found an extended version of the music video, and I must say, it’s incredible. I love it. Not quite as phenomenal as McDonald’s Filet O Fish jingle, but pretty damn close:
Here are the lyrics:
I like square butts and I cannot lie
Squid and Sea Star can’t deny
When a sponge walks in, four corners and his pen
Like he got phone book implants, the crowd shoutsAll the ladies stare
Dang those pants are square!
Swimming through the seaweed tangle
Is a butt with sharp right anglesNow Sponge Bob, I wanna get witch-ya
‘Cuz you’re making me rich-ah
Underwater, we keep it grungy
‘Cuz everybody knows that ‘He so spongey!’Ooh, Rumplespongeskin
You dance, but your hips don’t bend
So groove it and move it
If you got caboose, then prove itSponge Bob is dancing
And Squidward is glancing
He’s hatin’… wet
He’s got Sponge Bob runnin’ his setI’m tired of all these chairs
They don’t accommodate these squares
Take the average ???? tell him that
You gotta have square backMr. Krab! (yeah)
Patrick! (yeah)
Has Sponge Bob got the butt? (oh yeah)
Then shake it (shake it)
Shake it (shake it)
Shake that cubicle buttSponge Bob got back
(Naw, dude, I said cubicle, not booty-ful. Don’t trip. Yeah baby, when it comes to sea life, curves ain’t got nothin’ to do with Bob’s selection. 2 x 2 x 2 square trousers, working that black belt, looking like dotted lines. That’s how Sponge Bob like to rock them threads baby.)A word to the DC sponges who wanna get wit it
And watch Sponge Bob kick it
I gotta be straight when I say you gotta scrub ’til the break of dawn
Bob got it goin’ on, been known to rock him a thong
Them round butts won’t admit it
But they’d wear that gear if they could fit itYou can draw his body on paper
His waistline really don’t taper
Your girlfriend wants to squeeze him
Wanna push his pores and tease himBut Sponge Bob ain’t gonna have too much of that squeezin’
You other sponges don’t want none unless you rock square buns!To the new sponges in the magazines, you ain’t it Miss Thang
We rock them cubes, gals and dudes
Put it down at the goo lagoonSome other box must get jealous
At the moves that come from square fellas
See Bob and they wanna get him
But Sandy Cheeks he won’t let ‘emIf you happen to wander on land
And you wanna be a square butt fan
And drive the crew right to Burger King
And give that sponge a ringSponge Bob got back!
Tags: 00s tv commercials, 90s music, 99 cent kid's meal, baby got back, burger king, burger king spongebob commercial, filet o fish, i like square butts and I cannot lie, mcdonald's, monday night raw, sir mix-a-lot, spongebob squarepants, wwe, wwe raw
6 comments
-
songspeak
Oh, What a feeling! Toyota!
This past Saturday, August 16th, there was a big picnic at Nonotuck Park in Easthampton to celebrate mine and Kristen’s recent nuptials. For a photo project, Kristen’s friend Kelly suggested a group of us jump in sync while she set her camera on a timer. We must have jumped twenty or thirty times in order to get this shot.
My wisecracker cousin Chris came over and said, “What… did someone just get a toyota or something?”. He was referring to the Toyota commercials of the mid-80s, when Toyota’s slogan was “Oh what a feeling!” and commercials featured excited people jumping.
Does anyone besides me and Chris remember these?
John Cena played football for Springfield College in the late 90s with my cousin. Click to enlarge the pic.
Speaking of my cousin Chris, he attended Springfield College and played football there with WWE star, John Cena. You can’t see him? He’s top row, third from the left, number 57. My cousin Chris is bottom row in the middle, number 78.
Did you know that besides all the WWE stuff, and the Subway commercials John Cena has been in, he recorded a rap album with his cousin, Tha Trademarc in 2005? The first track, “The Time is Now” was even used by Cena as his entrance music.
My cousin Chris and I, however, have not yet recorded OUR rap album. Here’s to hoping it ‘drops’ soon, y’all.
Tags: 80s tv commercials, easthampton, football, john cena, jump, jumping, monday night raw, nonotuck park, nuptials, oh what a feeling, springfield college, subway, tha trademarc, toyota, wwe, you can't see me
comment?
-
songspeak
Vince McMahon Gets Rickrolled on RAW
Last night was the first night of Million Dollar Mania on Monday Night RAW . Vince McMahon is basically giving away $1,000,000 every week on RAW until he feels like stopping. Fans register on wwe.com, and are given a password at the beginning of the show. Vince then calls people thoughout the 2 hour broadcast, asks for the password , and gives away some money.
Well, his first phone call (in addition to making three attempts to get through) had unexpected and hilarious results. First of all, it seems Vince McMahon has never dialed a phone before. Second of all, it seems he has no idea what a reverse ringtone is. On top of that, the reverse ringtone in question rickrolled Vince McMahon and the entire RAW audience. I don’t know what’s the funniest part of the video; Vince’s buffoonery, his goofy old man glasses, the reverse ringtone, or the announcers:
Tags: 00s tv, 80s music, million dollar mania, monday night raw, never gonna give you up, raw, reverse ringtone, rick astley, rickroll, rickrolled, vince mcmahon, wwe, wwe raw
2 comments
Recent Comments