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  Auto-Tune The Slap Chop (with Vince, the ShamWow guy!)

  posted by matt | 05.12.09 | permalink | 1 comment

  DJ Steve Porter has some fun with a voice modulator, a phat beat, the Slap Chop, and the ShamWow guy, Vince Shlomi. You know, the guy who beat up a prostitute and had no problem cleaning up afterwards.

  Not to ruin it or anything, but two things to note:
  - A special cameo by the b-boys from Breakin’.
  - The line, “you’re going to love my nuts” gets a pretty sweet remix

  Everything DOES sound better auto-tuned! This is just classic. Thanks, AdFreak!

  Here are the lyrics:

  Hi it’s Vince with Slap Chop
  You’re gonna be in a great mood all day
  Cuz you’re gonna be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop
  Slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop

  Now look, here’s a potato, one slap
  You got big chunks for stews
  Two slaps? Homefries in a second
  Now look at this, you add a mushroom
  the more you do it, the finer it gets
  You don’t have to switch any blades

  Now, you love salad, you hate making it
  You know you hate making salad
  That’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet
  Watch this, one slap, salad

  Soup, cole slaw, stuff you want
  Five seconds– four, five seconds, it’s done

  This thing, this tuna, looks boring
  Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life
  Add this tuna, put it like this
  Now you’re have an exciting life now

  Here’s a hard boiled egg
  One chop, add the pickle, you add the green onion
  And what you can do,  you can mix things together
  You add the ham, and you’re  gonna love this
  You don’t have time to make breakfast
  Breakfast to go

  Watch this
  You’re gonna love my nuts
  Watch this
  You’re gonna watch this
  What about fruit?
  Put a mango
  Watch this

  Look at that, isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream?
  The reason you’re going to slap away every day
  Is that it’s so easy to clean
  1… 2… and it pops open like that

  Now the other ones that you seen in the stores
  Bacteria gets in the food
  All the stores have this
  You can’t clean it, you can’t open this up
  It’s worthless, forget about it

  Now, take the Slap Chop, put it back together
  Just put the Slap Chop right there
  The skin’s at the bottom
  The skin comes right off

  Alright, put a tomato in there
  Add your cilantro, your hot peppers right there
  You hit it like this

  Guys, we’re gonna make America skinny again…
  One slap at a time

  Hi it’s Vince with Slap Chop
  You’re gonna be in a great mood all day
  Cuz you’re gonna be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop
  Slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop

  It’s easy
  You just got one hand and
  Chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop…

  Watch this
  Tacos, fetuccini, linguini, martini, bikini

  Another great thing from the actual infomercial is this great line:

  “Life’s hard enough as it is, you don’t want to cry anymore”

  It was the inspiration for State Shirt’s new SongFight submitted song (and video), I Am A Target

  So I just kinda started piecing together parts of the original Slap Chop commercial, and found that some of the voice samples were downright somber when taken out of context. Started to write a song around the samples and quickly realized that this track could work out well as a SongFight entry. After some guitar, piano, synths, drums and vocals, the song was finished in a few hours.

  Songspeak is rooting for you.

  

  Tags: as seen on tv, auto-tune, autotune, b-boys, breakin', chopper, dj steve porter, infomercial, rap, rap chop, remix, shamwow, slap chop, slapping your troubles away, vince shlomi, voice modulator, you're going to love my nuts

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