Gotta love the announcers…”now that’s not necessary”. And this speech is always transcribed as “Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass”, but if you listen to it, I feel like he clearly says “whipped”. Besides, I just think “whipped” sounds more badass.

jamie wrote this on 03/16/10 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | 1 comment so far | TAGS: 90s tv, austin 3:16, jake "the snake" roberts, king of the ring, milwaukee, pay per view, stone cold steve austin, wisconsin, wrestling, wwe

I don’t know what’s more disturbing, watching the Burger King dance around to the song, or the fact that they’re using Baby Got Back to sell kid’s meals. And really, is it wise to use a song that glorifies fat asses to advertise a fast food restaurant that gives people…well…fat asses?

That aside, I found an extended version of the music video, and I must say, it’s incredible. I love it. Not quite as phenomenal as McDonald’s Filet O Fish jingle, but pretty damn close:

Here are the lyrics:

I like square butts and I cannot lie
Squid and Sea Star can’t deny
When a sponge walks in, four corners and his pen
Like he got phone book implants, the crowd shouts

All the ladies stare
Dang those pants are square!
Swimming through the seaweed tangle
Is a butt with sharp right angles

Now Sponge Bob, I wanna get witch-ya
‘Cuz you’re making me rich-ah
Underwater, we keep it grungy
‘Cuz everybody knows that ‘He so spongey!’

Ooh, Rumplespongeskin
You dance, but your hips don’t bend
So groove it and move it
If you got caboose, then prove it

Sponge Bob is dancing
And Squidward is glancing
He’s hatin’… wet
He’s got Sponge Bob runnin’ his set

I’m tired of all these chairs
They don’t accommodate these squares
Take the average ???? tell him that
You gotta have square back

Mr. Krab! (yeah)
Patrick! (yeah)
Has Sponge Bob got the butt? (oh yeah)
Then shake it (shake it)
Shake it (shake it)
Shake that cubicle butt

Sponge Bob got back
(Naw, dude, I said cubicle, not booty-ful. Don’t trip. Yeah baby, when it comes to sea life, curves ain’t got nothin’ to do with Bob’s selection. 2 x 2 x 2 square trousers, working that black belt, looking like dotted lines. That’s how Sponge Bob like to rock them threads baby.)

A word to the DC sponges who wanna get wit it
And watch Sponge Bob kick it
I gotta be straight when I say you gotta scrub ’til the break of dawn
Bob got it goin’ on, been known to rock him a thong
Them round butts won’t admit it
But they’d wear that gear if they could fit it

You can draw his body on paper
His waistline really don’t taper
Your girlfriend wants to squeeze him
Wanna push his pores and tease him

But Sponge Bob ain’t gonna have too much of that squeezin’
You other sponges don’t want none unless you rock square buns!

To the new sponges in the magazines, you ain’t it Miss Thang
We rock them cubes, gals and dudes
Put it down at the goo lagoon

Some other box must get jealous
At the moves that come from square fellas
See Bob and they wanna get him
But Sandy Cheeks he won’t let ‘em

If you happen to wander on land
And you wanna be a square butt fan
And drive the crew right to Burger King
And give that sponge a ring

Sponge Bob got back!

jamie wrote this on 04/07/09 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | 6 comments | TAGS: 00s tv commercials, 90s music, 99 cent kid's meal, baby got back, burger king, burger king spongebob commercial, filet o fish, i like square butts and I cannot lie, mcdonald's, monday night raw, sir mix-a-lot, spongebob squarepants, wwe, wwe raw

My wisecracker cousin Chris came over and said, “What… did someone just get a toyota or something?”. He was referring to the Toyota commercials of the mid-80s, when Toyota’s slogan was “Oh what a feeling!” and commercials featured excited people jumping.

Does anyone besides me and Chris remember these?

John Cena played football for Springfield College in the late 90s with my cousin. Click to enlarge the pic.

Speaking of my cousin Chris, he attended Springfield College and played football there with WWE star, John Cena. You can’t see him? He’s top row, third from the left, number 57. My cousin Chris is bottom row in the middle, number 78.

Did you know that besides all the WWE stuff, and the Subway commercials John Cena has been in, he recorded a rap album with his cousin, Tha Trademarc in 2005? The first track, “The Time is Now” was even used by Cena as his entrance music.

My cousin Chris and I, however, have not yet recorded OUR rap album. Here’s to hoping it ‘drops’ soon, y’all.

matt wrote this on 08/19/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | no comments yet, be the first! | TAGS: 80s tv commercials, easthampton, football, john cena, jump, jumping, monday night raw, nonotuck park, nuptials, oh what a feeling, springfield college, subway, tha trademarc, toyota, wwe, you can't see me

Well, his first phone call (in addition to making three attempts to get through) had unexpected and hilarious results. First of all, it seems Vince McMahon has never dialed a phone before. Second of all, it seems he has no idea what a reverse ringtone is. On top of that, the reverse ringtone in question rickrolled Vince McMahon and the entire RAW audience. I don’t know what’s the funniest part of the video; Vince’s buffoonery, his goofy old man glasses, the reverse ringtone, or the announcers:

jamie wrote this on 06/10/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | 2 comments | TAGS: 00s tv, 80s music, million dollar mania, monday night raw, never gonna give you up, raw, reverse ringtone, rick astley, rickroll, rickrolled, vince mcmahon, wwe, wwe raw

Yes, I enjoy wrestling, and yes, most wrestling fans get a bad rap and are stereotyped into the “unintelligent trailer trash” category. However, most wrestling fans are just average people who watch wrestling as any other form of entertainment.

So imagine how I felt my intelligence to be insulted when watching these candidates’ comments. Not only did they talk in circles and not actually say anything, they littered their mini-speeches with lame wrestling metaphors and catchphrases of wrestlers who haven’t been active for about 6 or 7 years (most notably, The Rock). If you’re going to try to relate to your audience, wouldn’t it make sense to, you know, make some more current references? Good God, I was half-expecting John McCain to say, “Where’s the beef?” Don’t get me wrong, hearing Barack Obama say “If you smell what Barack is cookin’” was pure gold, but I just got the feeling I was being talked down to. It was obvious they know nothing about the WWE and were just spouting lines. They blew a good opportunity to say something real and intelligent and instead let some speechwriter make it obvious that they knew nothing of their audience. And it didn’t help McCain’s case that his message appeared last and he used the same “If you smell what the Mac is cookin’” line.

Below is a snippet of each candidate’s clip so you can see for yourself.

jamie wrote this on 04/22/08 for SONGSPEAK which is a pretty awesome blog. | post permalink | 1 comment so far | TAGS: 00s tv, Barack Obama, dwayne johnson, hillary clinton, john mccain, raw, smackdown, the rock, trailer trash, wendy's, where's the beef, wrestling, wwe, wwe raw