Today Show gurls are so forgettable

OK, so I’m almost 2 weeks late on this, but I feel I must take on the seemingly annual tradition of tearing apart Katy Perry’s Today Show appearance/performance. For the third straight summer, Katy Perry captivated (and I use that term very loosely) a crowd in the plaza. She performed three songs, one of which was a reworking of the classic I Kissed a Girl. Because 2 year old songs are ripe for reimaginings. Anyway, here she is performing her big summer anthem, California Gurls:

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First of all, I’m not exactly sure what a “gurl” is, but tells me it’s “the way of spelling girl, favourd by girls below the age of 14 or dyslexics”. Now if I could only figure out what “favourd” means. But I digress…

I understand that the whole theme for Katy Perry’s album and the video for the song is a big Candyland wonderland. Fair enough. But seriously, how do you perform this song and NOT have your backup singers and dancers wearing daisy dukes and bikini tops? It just makes the whole song seem so pointless. I don’t like being lied to. Unless, of course, they aren’t from California, in which case they get a pass. But let’s take a look at this video a little more closely, shall we?

0:38 – That mohawked blond Pink-wannabe is really goin’ crazy.

1:15 – WTF are those gummy bear things? They look too small to be an adult, but too big to be a kid or midget. I’m frightened that it’s not a costume.

1:56 – Once again, there are girls singing along that are way to young to be into a song about sex on the beach and melting dudes’ popsicles.

2:03 – Nice dance moves, Katy. Wonder if she hired a professional choreographer for that bit.

2:26 – I’m pretty sure this lady has no idea where she is or what’s happening right now.

2:38 – Her request of the crowd to “help me out” results in dead silence.

3:20 – The hosts in fluorescent pink wigs. These are the professionals that keep us up to date on the war in Iraq and break the news about natural disasters involving people dying. Singing about melting my popsicle.

3:37 – I’m pretty sure that Marilyn Monroe lookalike dancer just broke out the sprinkler move.

4:15 – The best part. The end.

Is it me or does it seem like she’s just phoning in this performance? It almost seems like even she’s sick of hearing this song.

I guess there’s really only one thing left to say: Godspeed, Russell Brand.

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