Too many dicks on the dance floor!


There are so many great Flight Of The Conchords moments. Too Many Dicks On The Dance Floor is not only one of their greatest moments, it’s probably one of the greatest songs ever written.

The song and video are from an episode called Unnatural Love that Michel Gondry directed. Featuring the usual hilarious hijinx by Jemaine Celment and Bret McKenzie, this also features a rap by Arj Barker, who plays Dave on the show. Also features a cameo by the Cowboy from The Village People.

On a side note, Jamie and I saw Arj Barker at a NACA Showcase performance in Pennsylvania in 2000. He actually completely bombed with the crowd if I remember correctly.

Here are the lyrics:

Too many dicks on the dance floor
Too many dicks on the dance floor
Too many dicks
Too many dicks on the dance floor
Too many dicks
Too many dicks on the dance floor
Too many dicks

Going to the party
Sippin’ on Bacardi
Wanna meet a hottie
But there’s Adam, Steve and Marty
There’s Billy, Todd and Tommy
They’re on leave from the army
The only boobs I’ll see tonight will be made of origami

Tell the players, make it understood
It ain’t no good if there’s too much wood
Make sure you know before you go
The dance floor bro-hoe ratio
Five to one is a brodeo
Tell Steve and Mike it’s time to go
Wait outside all night to find
Twenty dudes in a conga line

Too many dicks on the dance floor
Easy to fix
Too many dicks on the dance floor
Spread out the dicks

Too many dudes
With too many dicks
Too close to my shit
Too hard to meet chicks
I need better odds
More broads, less rods
I came to do battle
Scadaddle with the cattle prods

Too many men
Too many boys
Too many misters
Not enough sisters
Too much time on, too many hands
Not enough ladies, too many mans

Too many dicks
Too many dongs
Too many schlongs
Now sing this song

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