You say I’m premature, I just call it ecstasy

SNL Digital Shorts. They’re just awesome. The latest, Jizz In My Pants, follows a long line of hilarious Andy Samberg-penned gems.

Appearances by Jamie Lynn Sigler (as the cashier), Molly Sims (the model), Justin Timberlake (the janitor), and Jorma Taccone from The Lonely Island.

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  1. Lock eyes, from across the room.
    Down my drinks, while the rhythms boom.
    Take your hand, and skip the names.
    No need here for the silly games.
    Make our way through the smoke and the crowd.
    The club is the sky and I’m on your cloud.
    Moving close as the lasers fly, our bodies touch and the angels cry.
    Leave this place, go back to yours.
    Our lips first touch outside your doors.
    The whole night we got in stored.
    Whispered in my ear that you want some more.

    AND I JIZZED IN MY PANTS

    This really never happens, you can take my word.
    I want to apologize. That’s just absurd
    Mainly your fault for the way you danced.

    AND I JIZZED IN MY PANTS

    Don’t tell your friends or I’ll your a slut
    Plus it was your fault, you were rubbing my butt.
    I’m very sensitive, some say that’s a plus.
    Now I’ll go home and CHANGE.

    I need a few things from the grocery.
    Do things alone now mostly.
    Left me heart-broken, not looking for love.
    Surprise in my eyes when I looked above.
    The checkout counter and I saw her face.
    My heart stood still, so did time and space.
    Never thought I could feel real again, but the look in her eye looked in her eye said I need a friend
    She turned to me, that’s when she said it.
    Looked me dead in the face, said cash or credit?

    AND I JIZZED IN MY PANTS

    It’s perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me, but we’re gonna need a clean-up on aisle 3.
    And now I’m posed doing awkward stands.
    because I…

    JIZZED IN MY PANTS

    To be fair, you were flirting a lot,plus the way you bag has got me bothered and hot.
    Please stop acting like you’re not impress, one more thing, I’m gonna pay by check.

    Last week, I saw a film.
    As I recall it was a horror film.
    Walked outside, into the rain.
    Checked my phone, and saw you rain.

    AND I JIZZED IN MY PANTS

    Speeding down the street when the red lights flash, need to get away, need to make a dash.
    A song comes on that reminds me of you, and I

    JIZZ IN MY PANTS

    The next day, my alarm goes off, and I

    JIZZ IN MY PANTS

    Open my window, and a breeze rolls in, and I

    JIZZED IN MY PANTS

    When Bruce Willis was dead at the end of Sixth Sense I

    JIZZED IN MY PANTS

    I just ate a grape and I

    JIZZED IN MY PANTS

    Okay, seriously you guys? Can we? Okay?

    I wetted my pants every time your next to me.
    And when we’re holding hands, It’s like having sex with me.
    You say I’m premature and It’s going ecstasy.
    I wear a rubber at all times, it’s a necessity.

    Cause I JIZZED IN MY PANTS!

    (whispering) Jizzed in my pants (x4)

    Yes, I JIZZED IN MY PANTS!

    (whispering) Jizzed in my pants (x2)

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